Friday, October 30, 2009

Tips to create Good Profile in Online Dating Sites

The biggest challenge you will face, when it comes to an online dating site, will be to type your profile. It's not an easy task to try and come up with words on a screen that define who we are and what we are looking for in another person. Here are some tips to help you tackle this task.

Think about meeting someone for the first time who you have an interest in at a coffee shop or at a party. Imagine what you would say to help describe yourself to the other person. This is exactly the sort of approach you want to take when you write your profile.

Your going to find one of the challenges about writing your online profile is to not have it come off sounding like a resume. You want to take a kind of matter-of-fact approach, but you don't want it to be stuffy or boring. Otherwise, you'll lose most people when they get to your profile. It's a fine balance. It will take a little bit of work and some editing to get it right. Be sure to throw in some humor. Remember, this is your chance to flirt, to have fun, and tell the world about you.

Use AIDA in your profile. No, not your Aunt Aida: Attention-Interest-Desire-Action. This is a four step process that will help you to stand out among your competition on the internet dating site of your choice. If you apply these principles to your profile you should get some quality results.

We've already established that you want to use your tagline to grab attention. Don't use the boring ones like: “Looking for a nice guy” or “Are you the one?” or “Want to Have Fun?” etc...Use the tips mentioned earlier to get an attention grabbing tagline.
You will garner interest by utilizing the body of the profile to its fullest potential. Most profiles are very poorly written. You can use this to your advantage. If you write a stellar profile, you will stand head and shoulders above the rest of your competition.

You want to keep your profile brief, but interesting. The ideal length of an online dating site profile is 200-350 words. You want to use anywhere from 150-250 of those words for yourself. You will then use 50-100 words as filters for the type of person you are seeking.

Create desire within someone by trying to make a connection with them. For example, if you have a parent of a particular ethnic heritage, mention it. Someone reading your profile who shares that same ethnicity will have a desire to share the heritage they have in common with you. Another example, is if you are originally from another part of the country, mention it. If someone reading your profile is originally from there, or has relatives there, they will feel a connection to you.

You must create a strong call to action at the closing of your profile. For example, “If you like what you've read, don't just sit there like a bump on a log, you big dummy, send me a message and tell me what's going on with you!”
Even better, is the filter strong call to action close: “So, if you're an athletic, 22-31 year old, non-smoking, woman who is as big of a health nut as me, send me a message so we can set up a race to see who pays for dinner that night. ;)” As you can see, this closing helps to ensure you get a message from someone in the age range 22-31, a non-smoker, someone who is athletic, health conscious, and someone who doesn't mind being a little competitive. It's fun, a little humorous, and a little flirty. Again, read through some profiles and look for strong closings and jot them down. Then make them unique to you.

Other topics you should cover in your profile to spark interest: What you do for a living and what goals you are trying to or hope to achieve career wise. At the start, I mentioned you should think about what you would say to a stranger you had some interest in at a party or coffee shop. What you do for a living, and what you aspire to do for a living, almost always comes up within the first 5 minutes of conversation when you meet someone new. Again, be careful with this topic. You're not looking for a job, you're looking for someone to hang out with and maybe start a relationship with.

If you have children, you should definitely talk about them in your profile. You can mention their age and where they live. You can mention something specific about them like: “I have a 12 year old son who lives with his mother in New York City, and loves to play soccer.” However, don't overdo it when talking about you kids. Remember, this profile is about you.

You should talk about any pets you have. Most likely, they are an important part of your life, and you want someone who's reading your profile to know you have pets. Again, this isn't something you want to overdo. Something like: “I have a very friendly 3 year old male Collie named Danny who enjoys going to the beach and park with me.” Obviously, mention any hobbies or activities you like to engage in. Mention any civic or professional groups you may belong to.

Always be sure to mention exactly what you are looking for in a relationship within the ad. If you're looking for a serious or long-term relationship don't be afraid to say so. If you're just looking to date around and have some no strings attached fun, don't be afraid to say so. Remember, the goal of the ad is to attract the type of people who are looking for the same things as you. You don't want someone who is looking for a serious relationship contacting you if that's not what you want, and vice versa.

Avoid negativity in your ad at all costs! There's enough negativity in the world. If people want negativity all they have to do is turn on their television and watch the news for an hour. When it comes to online dating sites, people are looking for upbeat, positive, fun, people to be around. A perfect example of negativity in an ad would be: “Are there any good guys left? I think all men are nothing but a bunch of liars and cheaters.” Or, “I really can't stand the stuck up women at the bars and clubs so I figured I'd give the online dating thing a chance.” Even if you really feel that way, or think that way, delete them out of your profile instantly. You'll be doing yourself a big favor.

Another big thing to avoid in your profile are generalities. I'm sure you've heard these before: “I'm a really fun, outgoing, person who likes to eat out and go to the movies and take walks on the beach.” This is just a profile makeover waiting to happen, or more to the point, a profile that gets passed over very quickly.
Be unique. Instead of saying “I like to go to the movies”, say: “My favorite movie is The Godfather. It's my favorite movie because you can't go wrong with Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, and Al Pacino acting in the same movie. I think the acting, the cinematography, the musical score, and the writing are superior, even to most movies released today.” Which sounds better to you?
One more example, instead of “I like going out to eat”, use, “When it comes to eating, I really like to go to Fred's Place. My favorite sandwich there is the Philly Steak Sub. The steak is mouth watering; it's always cooked to perfection. They always put a heaping pile of mozzarella cheese on it. The freshly chopped green peppers and onions are the perfect toppers to this delicious sandwich. Do you get the picture?

Use your profile to its fullest potential. Don't be afraid to throw some humor in. However, only use humor if it's natural to you. Some people just don't have a flair for humor, and that's okay if that's how you are. The biggest piece of advice about writing your profile I can give, is just be yourself. Don't try to be something or someone you're not. You won't attract the right type of people by doing it. You'll only be cheating yourself.
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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Better Online Dating Tips

This article is aimed to provide you with some better online dating sites tips to ensure you will make the best of this experience.

Flirting.
The key to get what you want from an online dating sites is flirting. Although some of you may think they cannot do it, it's actually much simpler than in face-to-face conversation. All you need to do is learn about the different kinds of online flirting approaches, pick one that works for you and put it into practice.

Simple conversation via Online dating sites is generally carried out through chat or e-mail. A very useful better online dating tip is to keep your answers simple, short and sweet. Don't write endless messages with deep meanings. It is safer to keep a light-hearted and upbeat tone. This has proven to attract more successful online dates. Ask questions in a simple and easy to answer manner and keep your answers simple too. Screen names & Emoticons Use screen names in your written conversation, not your real name. Find a screen name that you like and feel confident using. Emoticons are also nice, but they may become annoying or seem insincere if you use them excessively.

Self-confidence
.
Using a self-confident tone in your conversations is another better online dating tip. Self-confidence is an attractive characteristic. If you like yourself, others will like you too. However, be careful not to cross the line and seem too full of yourself. Humor Humor is also an appealing feature that can lighten up a conversation. If you have a good sense of humor, use it with confidence. Humor used with taste will always be appreciated.

Compliments.
Everyone loves a compliment, that's a fact.
Surprising your date with genuine and sincere compliments is a great better online dating tip. If you receive a compliment yourself, don't forget to say "Thank you!" Enticers Among the most useful better online dating tips are enticers used in your e-mail communications. You can try the classic pick-up lines or make up your own. However, keep them light and inviting so that you sound cute, interested and sincere, but not too pushy. This will certainly help you making a good impression. Just following these simple better online dating tips will help you become a flirting master sooner than you expected and will ultimately get you that successful date you've been waiting for.
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Monday, October 19, 2009

Pros and Cons of Dating Online in Online Dating sites: Where to Start Dating Options

Why is it important to know the pros and cons of dating in online Dating sites? Well, this is an important aspect influential in deciding if dating via online Dating sites is good for you in terms of your desire to meet a dating partner. Having a good grasp of the negative possibilities of online dating will help you set up strategies to impede the cons getting in the way.

You are out to meet more women in online dating sites against the actual number of women that you are out to meet in a social gathering or party establishments. You are also given the opportunity to choose women based on their profiles.
Another advantage of online dating is with the cost. You do not have to worry in spending a huge sum of money since there are many free online Dating sites available through the Internet. You don't have to spend money unlike when you go to the bar wherein you are required to pay entrance fee and pay for the drink.

Online Dating sites is the best option for those who are shy to approach women, it is easier to overcome this shyness when conversing online rather than approaching a lady that you saw in a bar or club. In view of the fact that this article's objective is to emphasize on the pros and cons of online dating in online Dating sites; next issue to chat about is the cons of online dating. One of the downsides of online Dating sites is the reality that you are not able to see the person that you are dating on first hand; not unless you both decide to meet after the first chat.

There is a great possibility that you may not see the person you are dating online if that person lives abroad or very far from your place. And you are not even sure if what they have indicated in their profile is real.

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Online Dating Tips For Teens

The kind of person that you want to date online via online dating sites can narrow down the dating prospects for you. If you would like to date older men, the preference automatically narrows your list, eliminating those who are in their twenties or thirties. You should endeavor to give out your preferences to any online dating Sites you sign up with so that they can make the search easier for you.

As a man, online dating may require a little ingenuity and effort on your part to call the attention of a lady you like. You need to make sure that the first email you send to any girl in an online dating setting is witty and interesting enough to induce a response on her part. The reason why many men flop at getting a girl's attention online is because they don't make their first email to her interesting enough.

Low risk takers tend to take online dating as an alternative to approaching a woman to ask out on a date. If you don't have the nerve to approach a lady to ask out on a date, then online dating is definitely for you. Online dating sites help those who feel socially inadequate express themselves properly, since they aren't looking and talking to the lady physically, so to speak.

Online dating scams are inevitable as they are everywhere. You can avoid an online dating scam by being cautious about any offers that seem too good to be true. As a general warning, any offer that seems too good to be true when you are looking for the perfect online agency probably is.

You can create a wonderful online relationship with someone by sharing tidbits of your life with them either through profile updates, instant messaging or photo sharing. Chatting with your online date can bring you closer to him or her. Take advantage of every service available to you on an online dating site to improve your online relationship.

Carefully scrutinize the profiles of any online date before responding to him or her. As a general rule, don't believe everything an online dating sites profile tells you because some people tend to lie a lot about who they are.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Online Dating Tips: Use Online Dating Sites To Learn a Lot of Different Personalities

Online dating sites became an effective way of meeting single men or women of your type. There are online dating sites that charge fees and others do not. Those that ask for registration are more private and appropriate for a specific group of people. Online Dating Sites that are free of charge are for public use.

When individuals post their profiles, they simply signify their interests to meet other individuals. Definitely they will get responses from whoever browses their personal information and is interested in their personal profile. Obviously after that, they will be exchanging emails or online addresses to know each other better in a more private way. The most exciting is that they will be getting messages not only from one or two people, but from a lot of individuals. Handle all of them at one time would be a good challenge. You may opt to deny part of them immediately, but this would be inconsistent with your motive to meet a good potential date. Also it is greatly possible that people you will initially meet are not who they are in their real lives.

Remember you will need time to know your potential date better. The following three tips will help you to understand that virtual world is a place to meet different personalities of online daters who are interested in you:

1. Check on the different profiles on the Online dating site where you are a member.
These profiles you will be able to get a fair overview of what types of people you can potentially meet. You can check from what countries they come from, what are their personal backgrounds, how they write their profiles, etc. It will at least express the general culture of the site.

2. The kind of person you can meet on a particular dating site does not depend on the quality of the online dating sites.

There are a lot of possibilities to meet both nice and insincere people as well.

3. You can meet all kinds of people on the dating sites.

For example those who are single, educated, searching for serious relationships; those who want to fulfil their fantasies and express themselves; those who are suppressed in their real life; those who want to play along with the emotions of others; those who want to date for fun and have made it a hobby; those who are too desperate and due to this being too demanding; those who are controlled with perverted minds; and simply those who are sincere and honest and want to meet people of their kind. It is best to be honest with your intention no matter how absurd the intentions of others might be. The big risk you have with online dating sites is that you cannot use all your five senses to know a person well. Nevertheless, the best thing you can do is to be yourself. Let your new acquaintances be who they want to be. If you dislike them, directly tell them about your thoughts and feelings. You will not lose anything being honest.
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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Tips To Create Perfect Online Dating Sites Profile

Recently, Online dating sites has become popular. There wouldn be a lot of people who do not knowing about the online dating web sites. These days, all are trying their hands in online dating. More and more people are signing up newly with such sites. People realize its benefits and flocking into online dating web services in search of their future mate. However a new comer will be too confused about the entire dating scene. Naturally he or she will be wondering how they can find success in online dating. If you follow some simple rules you can find your dream partner easily in the online dating site.

This tips can be used to increase quality in yours Perfect Online Dating Sites Profile


Be Honest
As they say honesty is the best policy. The anonymity in the online dating sites makes people to play games. They think it is fine saying some lies or exaggerating facts. However, that wouldn’t do the trick for you. Being honest and sincere only do the magic for you. After all, you are searching for a relationship which is stable and long lasting. Then how can build up such a relationship by telling lies?

You should resist
such temptation while you make your online dating sites profile. Remember, once you say a lie, this automatically lead you to tell a number of lies again and this lies will catch up with you. Deception cannot be justified at any circumstances. Truth will come out one day and this will eventually cause troubles to you.

Being Yourself
What you actually do while creating an online dating sites profile is being yourself. You should let others know what your real personality is. The fact is that you are getting a chance to express yourself truly. Do not spoil this chance and misuse it. Most people fill their space with pleasing description about themselves. Keep in mind that this is what every one doing in such profiles. So nothing would be new in it. What you want is attracting people to profile. Isn’;t it? For that you just need to be yourself and honest. You can certainly stand out if you do so. Do not write things which you never tried in your life. Some people tend to write that they like adventurous sports even if they never even tried it. Do not brag. Bragging is a bad habit and big turn off for people who are in the dating website. The danger is that when you make your profile wrongly you are going to attract wrong people to your profile.

Catchy Headline
A catchy headline is a must in making an online dating sites profile. Think about some thing unique and distinctive. It should be original. Do not go for tired expressions. That is actually huge turn off. You can think about the online dating sites profiles which attracted your attention. You can consider such profiles as a sample but do not copy the entire content. You can get idea from it make your own headline.





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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Online Dating Tips Part I : General Tips

Considering the large number of people who have met online for sex and dating, the occurrence of violence is relatively low. But there are some people who cruise with intention to harm. If you are targeted by one of these people, it is important to know it is NOT YOUR FAULT. Nobody has the right to violate your boundaries or commit violence against you. The following tips may help you identify when someone you are meeting has negative intentions.

Trust your gut.
When meeting up with someone new from online dating site, if you get a feeling that something isn’t right, trust your instinct and exit the situation. If you are afraid of offending the person, you can do so politely.

But what if I am overreacting? Sometimes I feel uncomfortable but can’t actually name a reason.
Trust your gut! It has gotten you this far Sometimes, we get a feeling of discomfort or fear based on cues that we can’t identify at that time. Our survival instincts sense danger faster than our logical mind. You may not be able to identify what made you nervous until later.

Get a face pic and phone number before meeting them:

A picture is better than simply a physical description. If they send you a picture, but the person who shows up looks nothing like it, that is a sign that you should probably exit the situation. If the person knows you have their photo in your email inbox, it could make them wary of doing something to harm you. A phone number allows you to talk beforehand (more on this below) and is another piece of information you can leave around or give to a friend.

If/When you decide to meet someone in person from online dating site, meet in public:
If you are only conversing online, you may not have enough information to assess someone’s intentions. If you agree to meet up with only one person, but multiple people show up, do not go with them. If you meet up and the person doesn’t look like the picture, ask them about it. If they don’t have a satisfactory answer, exit.
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Online Dating Tips Part II : When Meeting in private

I usuay meet in online dating site . I really don’t want to meet in public. Is it safer for me to host or for them to host?
There are safety advantages and disadvantages to both.
If you host:
Leave all valuables out of sight, locked away, or with a trusted friend.

Keep items that could be weapons out of sight (scissors, knives, bats, etc).
Stay awake the entire time the person is there ‐ no sleepovers the first time. Items can disappear while you are asleep and your safety could be in jeopardy.
Generally speaking, it is better not to host if you don’t live in a secure building. Remember, after one visit, the person knows where you live.

Keep your cell phone charged and close to you at all times*. If someone refuses to leave when you ask them, some options include using command type language (i.e. “Get out of my house now”), calling police, calling a friend, or activating your silent alarm (more below). Do what makes the most sense to you.
*The police or your friend(s) can’t be there immediately after you call. This is a good safety measure to employ, but don’t count on it being your only one.

If they host:
PLEASE tell at least one person the exact address where you will be and for how long.
Set up a silent alarm (more on this below).
Bring your phone and keep it charged.
Do not accept drinks, even water, at the person’s home unless you observe the drink being poured. Date rape drugs have no odor or flavor even in water.
If somebody else is at the home when you get there, exit. Most people hosting a guest will ask roommates to clear out.
If at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, leave immediately. You don’t have to give an explanation. If someone prevents you from leaving, firmly re‐state your intention to leave. More under the “Use your Voice” section below.

Isn’t it rude to leave? What if we haven’t ‘finished?’ Shouldn’t I finish what I started?
NO. You have the right to change your mind and cease sexual activity at any stage. Your emotional and physical safety comes first. Consenting does not take away your right to stop. If someone doesn’t respect a boundary you set, no matter how small, this is a sign that they may not respect other boundaries as well. You deserve to be respected at all times. Leave if they do something you ask them not to. You will find other sexual partners.
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Online Dating Tips Part III : Meeting in public

When you want to meet offline after meet in online dating site, choose well‐lit place is best, a cafĂ© or restaurant with other people around.
If you would rather meet at a bar or a club, remember to get your own drinks. If you drink at all, drink only a bit. Intoxication may be seen as a vulnerability.
If someone insists on getting your drink for you, tell them no. If they still don’t respect that, please do not to take the drink and consider ending your time with the person.
Another advantage of meeting in public is that you can bring friends with you. They can watch your back and they can let you know their impressions of your date.
If you decide to leave with the person, get the address of where you’ll be and their phone number. Introduce them to the bartender, friends, or acquaintances before leaving. Let them know you gave info to your friends so they know where you are for safety.

Asserting Your Boundaries:
Use your voice.
Will someone really stop if I tell them to? What if I just make them angry?

One should always take verbal threats seriously, but know that verbal self‐defense is a great first line of defense. Resistance breaks the assailant’s script and places doubt in their mind about their ability to commit the crime. Note: there is a difference between being aggressive and assertive. Being aggressive is often perceived as confrontational and threatening. To de‐escalate a situation, it is important to criticize the behavior, not the person. We can exercise our rights without denying the rights of others by choosing to be assertive Below are steps to assertive communication:
Maintain confident body language‐ Stand/sit tall, keep your head up, shoulders back
Make eye contact.
Respond firmly and quickly.
Speak in a steady, calm voice.
Use clear, command‐type language, and use “I‐statements” (i.e. “I feel uncomfortable when you talk to me that way and I want you to stop.”).
Be specific as to what behavior it is you want stopped.
Send a clear and consistent message with your words, voice, eyes, and body language.
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Online Dating Tips Part IV : More verbal techniques

Here is some verbal techniques that can be used when you meet a friend from online dating site.
Name The Behavior that the person has just done or said that has made you feel uncomfortable (i.e. “Stop touching me after I’ve asked you to stop.”).

Broken Record Technique involves repeating your command.
This is especially useful when someone appears intoxicated or is indecisive on what to do next. (i.e. “Leave my apartment now. Leave my apartment now!)

Make A Scene and Enlisting the Help of Others strips the person of the power of secrecy and sends the message that you are not ashamed to call attention to the situation in public.
It also lets others around you know what is happening. To enlist the help of others be directive (i.e. pick a person out of the crowd and address them directly with commands such as “Call 911!”)


Reasoning or Negotiation will distract an assailant.

They are expecting things to go a certain way, and you responding differently throws them off. Negotiation may include asking the assailant to use a condom, put a weapon down, or to move to a different location. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS GIVING CONSENT! You may decide at any point to resist, escape or comply. All are options for survival.

Making Yourself Human/Distraction violates the assailant’s idea you of being fearful and silent.
When you are active, you become real and not necessarily what they expect. It is more difficult to hurt someone who is seen as a human being rather than an object.

What is a Silent Alarm?
There are numerous ways to utilize your cell phone as a safety tool. If you do not have a cell phone, and you are not going to be in public place, try to make sure there will be a landline before you agree to go. Tell one friend that, if everything is going well with your date/ hook up, you will call or text at a specific time (usually after the date is over) with a specific code word. It should be something not guessable – i.e. NOT “all is well,” “I’m fine,” etc. This word (could be a color or a flavor of ice cream or a fruit, for example) tells the friend that all is well and the alarm is disarmed. Beforehand, tell your friend the address of where you will be and you both agree on the code words and what the friend should do if you do not call. Typically, the agreement is that if you call and say ‘everything is fine’ but do not use the code word, the friend should call police. And if you do not call or text at all at the time agreed upon, the friend should call you. If you do not answer or if you answer and do not say the code word, your friend should call the police.

I really don’t want to tell my friends that I am cruising online. I am embarrassed about it. Plus, I don’t know if any of them would even do this for me.
TONS of people meet online. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. But even if it’s not possible to confide in someone, it is possible set up the alarm without telling them exactly why. If you really do not want anyone to know, or you don’t feel like you have time to set one up, leave the picture of the person you are meeting open on the desktop of your computer and leave your computer on, with the person’s name, e‐mail address or chat name, phone number, and address of where you’ll be written down nearby and easily visible.
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Internet Dating Tips Part V : A few other reminders:

Set up an anonymous e‐mail account if you plan to communicate outside of a online dating site.
Do not publish your address, phone number, or e‐mail address in personal ads.
Ask lots of questions when chatting, but don’t necessarily take every answer at face value. Remember online, you cannot read nonverbal, body language cues.
If someone is abusive to you online, block them right away.
If you decide to meet in person, do not rely upon your date for transportation and do not provide transportation for them.

I am Transgender. Should I tell my date? And if so, when?
There is no absolute right or wrong answer to these questions. Such a decision is very personal. Above all else, remember it is your right to choose if or when to discuss your gender identity, your genitals, or any other part of your body. If someone insults or attacks you because of their expectations about your body, that is NEVER YOUR FAULT.

Do I have to disclose the fact that I am trans to my partner?
NO. Plenty of non‐trans people do not have discussions about their gender or their bodies prior to having sex. However, while you do not owe it to anybody to talk about your genitals prior to a sexual encounter, it may be safer to do so. It may also be less awkward or uncomfortable in general. So it may be ideal make space to have a conversation about the type of sex you would like to have beforehand. If this is simply not your style or not an option, that is okay.
In terms of safety, there are advantages and disadvantages to disclosing in various situations. Your decision may be different depending on the person you are talking with and how sensitive or aware they seem.

Disclosing in a personal ad:

The advantage of this is that you have a better shot at weeding out people who are unfamiliar with trans people which may mean not having to endure as many annoying questions on a date. Another distinct advantage is attracting people who are specifically attracted to your gender identity and/or your body type. Disadvantages? You may also attract people who eroticize trans people in a non‐respectful way. If you feel any discomfort from the language someone uses with you in an e‐mail, feel free to tell them so and/or ignore or block them.

Disclosing in an e‐mail or chat:
If you are responding to another person’s ad, disclosing at some point during the chat or e‐mail exchange is an option. Again, you have the advantage of getting the conversation at least started before you meet in person and if there is a negative reaction, you don’t have to deal with it face‐to‐face. A possible disadvantage could be that if someone responds negatively, they could potentially forward your e‐mail or publicly ‘out’ you online or otherwise invade your privacy. This is why it is good to create an anonymous e‐mail account.

Disclosing over the phone:
Privacy violations or public outing are probably less likely to happen this way if someone responds negatively. Also, being able to hear someone’s tone of voice and gage their language use in real time can be helpful. E‐mail and chatting can easily be ‘rehearsed’ and can be less authentic. A phone conversation can give you a more realistic impression of how sensitive or knowledgeable someone is about trans people.

Disclosing when cruising in person:
Some trans people, when meeting potential dates or sex partners in person, choose to reveal information about trans identity and/or body before a sexual encounter. Unlike an online conversation, you will be able to read body language and other nonverbal cues. Often times, discussions about trans identity can be accompanied by discussions of what the two of you do and do not want to happen, and discussions about safer sex.

Disclosing on a date:
A date can be an ideal time to talk about gender identity, since general discussions about your lives, background, family, etc will likely be happening. If someone responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you will be in public. Again, it can be brought up in the context of a safer sex discussion, or in the context of your past.

Disclosing during a sexual encounter:

Some people choose to have gender identity, genitalia‐related, and/or safer sex discussions at this point. It may feel like having the discussion prior would be assuming too much or that the opportunity just wasn’t there. Waiting until this point does in fact allow you to be certain that a sexual encounter is desired. One potential disadvantage however is that you may no longer be in public at this point if the person responds in a threatening manner. Also, sexual conversations can actually sometimes be less awkward when they are brought up in a non‐sexual setting, like a public place. Sometimes it can actually be harder to talk about personal, sexual topics after sexual activity has already begun.


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