Online Dating Tips Part IV : More verbal techniques

Here is some verbal techniques that can be used when you meet a friend from online dating site.
Name The Behavior that the person has just done or said that has made you feel uncomfortable (i.e. “Stop touching me after I’ve asked you to stop.”).

Broken Record Technique involves repeating your command.
This is especially useful when someone appears intoxicated or is indecisive on what to do next. (i.e. “Leave my apartment now. Leave my apartment now!)

Make A Scene and Enlisting the Help of Others strips the person of the power of secrecy and sends the message that you are not ashamed to call attention to the situation in public.
It also lets others around you know what is happening. To enlist the help of others be directive (i.e. pick a person out of the crowd and address them directly with commands such as “Call 911!”)


Reasoning or Negotiation will distract an assailant.
They are expecting things to go a certain way, and you responding differently throws them off. Negotiation may include asking the assailant to use a condom, put a weapon down, or to move to a different location. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS GIVING CONSENT! You may decide at any point to resist, escape or comply. All are options for survival.

Making Yourself Human/Distraction violates the assailant’s idea you of being fearful and silent.
When you are active, you become real and not necessarily what they expect. It is more difficult to hurt someone who is seen as a human being rather than an object.

What is a Silent Alarm?
There are numerous ways to utilize your cell phone as a safety tool. If you do not have a cell phone, and you are not going to be in public place, try to make sure there will be a landline before you agree to go. Tell one friend that, if everything is going well with your date/ hook up, you will call or text at a specific time (usually after the date is over) with a specific code word. It should be something not guessable – i.e. NOT “all is well,” “I’m fine,” etc. This word (could be a color or a flavor of ice cream or a fruit, for example) tells the friend that all is well and the alarm is disarmed. Beforehand, tell your friend the address of where you will be and you both agree on the code words and what the friend should do if you do not call. Typically, the agreement is that if you call and say ‘everything is fine’ but do not use the code word, the friend should call police. And if you do not call or text at all at the time agreed upon, the friend should call you. If you do not answer or if you answer and do not say the code word, your friend should call the police.

I really don’t want to tell my friends that I am cruising online. I am embarrassed about it. Plus, I don’t know if any of them would even do this for me.
TONS of people meet online. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. But even if it’s not possible to confide in someone, it is possible set up the alarm without telling them exactly why. If you really do not want anyone to know, or you don’t feel like you have time to set one up, leave the picture of the person you are meeting open on the desktop of your computer and leave your computer on, with the person’s name, e‐mail address or chat name, phone number, and address of where you’ll be written down nearby and easily visible.